A SODOMITE’S CHRISTMAS IN ELIZABETHAN LONDON
SCENE 2
(Later that night. MARLOWE’s home, a spare, cheap room in Shoreditch with a small fireplace. MARLOWE has a swollen, red eye that will turn a lovely shade of purple later. He is disheveled and half-dressed from a recent romp with RENT-BOY, who is similarly half-dressed)
RENT-BOY
I love you.
MARLOWE
Not ‘I love you.’ I want you.
RENT-BOY
The others all want ‘I love you.’
MARLOWE
That’s because they’re old. I’ve still got a mother when I want an ‘I love you.’ I need an ‘I want you.’
RENT-BOY
I want you.
MARLOWE
Try to mean it. Weren’t you a player once?
RENT-BOY
Til I got hair in me pits, and that little Welsh boy showed up and started getting all the women’s parts. I never conned a part well. Got no memory for words, like, and I don’t read so good. They only wanted me for me lips.
MARLOWE
They’re exquisite lips. Fatty little cuts of the carbonadoes angels eat.
RENT-BOY
They’re all right. You’re out of wine.
MARLOWE
Only temporarily.
RENT-BOY
Well, there’s none here is my point.
MARLOWE
Take your pants back off.
RENT-BOY
Give me six pence.
MARLOWE
What? The first one was only five.
RENT-BOY
That’s because it was the first one. I’m tired and sore and I want to go home. Or to drink more wine. Or to pull on that pipe again. Give me the pipe.
MARLOWE
Will you unpants yourself?
RENT-BOY
Pipe and thruppence.
MARLOWE
That’s fair. (MARLOWE will search his room for money through the next exchanges. He might hand the boy empty or near-empty wine bottles he might drain the last drops from) I suppose if you’re used to old fellows, you don’t have a second bout much.
RENT-BOY
There’s some of em’s quite randy. You’d be surprised.
MARLOWE
Must be disgusting, all that old white fur. All those fat paunches. I would think you’d ask for less from a handsome fellow.
RENT-BOY
Aye, well. Think what ye like. You’re fair enough, I suppose, but work’s work.
MARLOWE
Do you lie with boys on your own time?
RENT-BOY
Sure.
MARLOWE
Or do you flip and shag girls when you can choose?
RENT-BOY
Sure.
MARLOWE
Well, which?
RENT-BOY
Sure. Give us the pipe.
(MARLOWE hands him the pipe, then goes back to searching for coins. RENT-BOY knows where MARLOWE’s tobacco pouch is. He gets that, fills the bowl and lights it at the fireplace)
MARLOWE
I can’t have spent everything.
RENT-BOY
Sure you can. No man gets more than he can spend. I’ve met a bankrupt Earl, you know, and you spend plenty. Nobody gets wine like this, and nobody who does drinks it this fast. I bet you drink a manor house in a year.
MARLOWE
(Finding a coin) Ha! Here’s something. What will you do for a penny?
RENT-BOY
Fuck, man, don’t make me take your last penny.
MARLOWE
Here’s another! Tuppence!
RENT-BOY
Give em to the baker. You’re too skinny for as much’s you drink.
MARLOWE
Wine turns to poetry. Bread just turns to shit.
RENT-BOY
Most poetry is shit, from what I’ve heard of it.
MARLOWE
What will you do for tuppence?
RENT-BOY
I’ll yank it about. But keep your trousers up, or you’ll go pushin me head down, and that’s thruppence.
MARLOWE
Done!
(MARLOWE reclines as RENTBOY reaches into his trousers and begins, disinterestedly, to jerk him off. RENTBOY continues to smoke the pipe. MARLOWE gestures that he wants a puff, but RENTBOY keeps it out of his reach)
RENT-BOY
You going to take long?
MARLOWE
It is the second time.
RENT-BOY
Well, try to hurry.
MARLOWE
Take your shoes off.
RENT-BOY
Don’t want to.
MARLOWE
I’ll finish faster.
RENT-BOY
I never take me shoes off. Never know when someone’ll get strange on me and I’ll have to run. You’re getting a little strange, just so you know.
MARLOWE
Pull my hair.
RENT-BOY
You think too much’s your problem.
MARLOWE
I like my hair pulled.
RENT-BOY
Pulled how?
MARLOWE
Roughly.
RENT-BOY
I don’t want to. I’ll have to put the pipe down.
MARLOWE
I’ll hold the pipe.
RENT-BOY
Fine, but mind you don’t smoke it all.
(RENT-BOY hands over pipe. They will share it reluctantly as indicated by text)
MARLOWE
Pull my hair.
RENT-BOY
Rough, you said?
MARLOWE
Roughly.
RENT-BOY
How rough?
MARLOWE
Like a beast. Like we’re rough beasts.
RENT-BOY
You want me to growl, like? Snuffle like a bear?
MARLOWE
No, just pull my hair.
RENT-BOY
Rough?
MARLOWE
Yes, damn it all, just do it.
(RENT-BOY reaches out and yanks MARLOWE’s hair very, very hard. He even pulls some out)
OW! FUCK!
RENT-BOY
(Still jerking MARLOWE off) Uh-oh. Wizard’s losing his wand.
MARLOWE
Fucking hell, you little criminal. You hurt me.
RENT-BOY
Shouldn’t a said rough, you didn’t want rough.
MARLOWE
I meant sex-rough, not fight at Newgate prison rough.
RENT-BOY
Fella oughtta know what he wants. Fella ought not make assumptions, like. Tell me rough, rough you get. I’m strong, I am. Give us th’ pipe.
MARLOWE
Am I bleeding?
RENT-BOY
Nah. Just got a little bald spot.
MARLOWE
Oh, shit. How big?
RENT-BOY
It’ll grow back. Say, you’re getting thin on top anyway, aren’t you?
MARLOWE
Shut up and keep working.
RENT-BOY
Not much to work on now. You’re well out of the mood, aren’t you?
MARLOWE
Keep trying.
RENT-BOY
You’re the one needs to try. Scared little rabbit’s goin under for the winter.
MARLOWE
Give me back the pipe.
RENT-BOY
Come out, rabbit, don’t lie on your stones, there’s pretty fields to hop about in. Would you like to hop in me fields?
MARLOWE
I haven’t got the money to hop in your fields, remember?
RENT-BOY
I’m not talkin’ to you, am I? Scared rabbit’s got to be encouraged, like. You got to make him feel like he’s got somewhere better to go. In his mind.
MARLOWE
It hasn’t got a fucking mind. I’ve got the mind. Talk to me.
RENT-BOY
I’m done talking with you. This is between me and the rabbit now. You want a kiss, little cony?
MARLOWE
Don’t tell him you’re going to kiss him if you’re not.
RENT-BOY
He don’t know no better.
MARLOWE
But I do. I know I haven’t got tuppence and you’re not going to kiss it.
RENT-BOY
Shut your hole. This don’t concern you. Give us that. (meaning pipe)
MARLOWE
It’s almost out.
RENT-BOY
That’s why I want it.
MARLOWE
I don’t think this is working.
RENT-BOY
Yeah. That’s a dead rabbit. Sorry little fella, I did my best for you.
(RENT-BOY takes his hand from MARLOWE’s trousers and gives his full attention to the pipe)
MARLOWE
He’s not all that little.
RENT-BOY
Not when he’s jumpin about. Kind of on the shy side of right in the middle when he’s jumpin about. But not now. He’s just a murdered little babe, never had a chance, like. Who kilt you, baby rabbit? I’ll have a stab at them, I will.
MARLOWE
Stop talking.
RENT-BOY
Yeah. It’s time for me to go.
(RENT-BOY starts finding clothes)
MARLOWE
You don’t have to go.
RENT-BOY
I want to go.
MARLOWE
Don’t say you want to go. Say you have to go. I don’t like thinking you don’t want to be here.
RENT-BOY
You want all that pretending-like, you want Johnny French.
MARLOWE
He’s fat now.
RENT-BOY
Well, pretend he’s not. Not his fault he likes pie.
MARLOWE
It’s cold out there. I think it’s going to snow.
RENT-BOY
I think you’re right. Wonder if the Thames’ll freeze all the way. I like a good skate, I do.
MARLOWE
You could stay here where it’s warm.
RENT-BOY
Got work to do. Got to bring money to me Ma.
MARLOWE
Where is she, in the hospital I suppose?
RENT-BOY
Nah, she’s in Bridewell for whorin.’
MARLOWE
Stay. I’ve got a fire.
RENT-BOY
There’s lots a fires.
MARLOWE
I’ve got a new play.
RENT-BOY
I like your plays alright.
MARLOWE
I could read you some.
RENT-BOY
I’ll wait and see it at the Rose.
MARLOWE
That costs a penny.
RENT-BOY
I’ll pay a penny. That’s what you do that’s worth a penny, in’t it? But I like it with the players and the swords and all, and the pig’s-blood. I like to eat hazelnuts and look up at the players.
MARLOWE
It’s really good, this play.
RENT-BOY
Should be, for all the wine and pizzle-yankin it’ll get you. Goodbye.
MARLOWE
Wait! I’ve got tobacco!
RENT-BOY
No, you haven’t. How much?
MARLOWE
Just a pinch.
RENT-BOY
Well, then, load it up and fetch your play. I’ll listen while the smoke lasts.
(MARLOWE hurries about, assembling pages of manuscript, trying to decide which to read)
MARLOWE
What do you want? The scene with Helen of Troy, or the scene where the devil comes for the man at the end?
RENT-BOY
Helen of Troy, she’s beautiful, right?
MARLOWE
The most beautiful women that ever walked, they say. Started a war with her cunny.
RENT-BOY
How’d it do that?
MARLOWE
The usual way. Two men wanted it.
RENT-BOY
Does she talk much?
MARLOWE
No.
RENT-BOY
Who’s gonna play her, that Welsh fucker?
MARLOWE
I’m not the one who decides.
RENT-BOY
If you were, we might bargain. We might very well indeed.
MARLOWE
But I’m not.
RENT-BOY
Then we won’t. But read it anyway. And hurry up; the weed’s almost gone, and the end part’s all bitter and bubbly like.
MARLOWE
(shuffling through papers) Smoke slowly. I’m having trouble finding it.
RENT-BOY
Well, I’m not gonna let it burn out, am I? Smoke slowly, he says.
MARLOWE
You didn’t even know what tobacco was before I showed you.
RENT-BOY
And thank you very much for that. I think about it when I haven’t got it now. And there’s not many as can get it. I’ve spent a few sleepless nights for want of this.
MARLOWE
I can’t find the part with Helen.
RENT-BOY
Then give us the devil.
MARLOWE
Right. It’s just here. Do you believe in the devil?
RENT-BOY
I believe as the church says I should. I don’t want no trouble.
MARLOWE
That’s not belief. That’s fear.
RENT-BOY
I’m not afraid of no devil.
MARLOWE
No. You’re afraid of men who will punish you if you say you don’t believe.
RENT-BOY
I wish there was a devil.
MARLOWE
I think I know what you mean.
RENT-BOY
I wish I could believe people did nasty things because something bigger than them made em do it, not because it’s just who they are. That’s what’s scary. Thinkin people are made like that.
MARLOWE
Which brings one to question who made men so. And why. If God, why full of wickedness? And if no god made us…
RENT-BOY
I don’t like this talk. Just read your fucking play.
MARLOWE
Ah Faustus
Now hast thou but one bare hour to live,
And then thou must be damn’d perpetually.
Stand still, you ever-moving spheres of heaven,
That time may cease and midnight never come.
Fair nature’s eye, rise, rise again and make
Perpetual day; or let this hour be but
A year, a month, a week, a natural day,
That Faustus may repent and save his soul.
O lente, lente, currite noctis equi!
RENT-BOY
What’s that?
MARLOWE
Latin. Run slowly, horses of the night. It’s from Ovid.
RENT-BOY
What are you doing putting his play in your play?
MARLOWE
His isn’t a play.
RENT-BOY
Still.
MARLOWE
I love Ovid.
RENT-BOY
Then leave his play alone. You got any hazelnuts?
MARLOWE
No. The stars move still, the clock will strike…
RENT-BOY
This still Ovid?
MARLOWE
No, it’s me. The devil will come, and Faustus must be damn’d.
O I’ll leap up to my God; who pulls me down?
See, see, where Christ’s blood streams in the firmament.
RENT-BOY
(Standing up to go, handing MARLOWE empty pipe) That’s good. Look. You’re out of everything I want. You know where to find me when your money’s in again. Or maybe go find Johnny French. He’ll listen to your play. He knows how to talk that shyte you want to hear. Me, I’ve just got pretty lips.
(Exit RENT-BOY)
MARLOWE
Then I will run headlong into the earth.
Earth, gape. O no, it will not harbor me.